Does cheating indicate unhappiness?

A person looking sad and thoughtful with a broken heart symbol, surrounded by images of cheating and unhappiness.

Answer from our relationship expert:

Cheating doesn't always directly indicate unhappiness, as the reasons for infidelity can be complex and varied. While unhappiness in a relationship can be a contributing factor to cheating, it's not the sole cause. Some people may cheat due to personal insecurities, opportunity, thrill-seeking behavior, or unresolved emotional issues. Others might cheat despite being generally happy in their relationship. However, cheating often points to underlying problems, either within the relationship or with the individual who cheats. It could signify issues with communication, intimacy, or unmet needs. Regardless of the reason, cheating typically causes significant distress and can severely damage trust in a relationship.

"Cheating and lying aren't struggles, they're reasons to break up." - Patti Callahan Henry

Guidance & steps forward:

If you're dealing with infidelity in your relationship, it's important to address the underlying issues rather than assuming it's solely about happiness. Seek open and honest communication with your partner. Consider couples therapy to work through the betrayal and underlying issues. If you're the one who cheated, reflect on your motivations and be prepared to take responsibility for your actions. For those tempted to cheat, consider what's driving these feelings and address them directly, either through communication with your partner or personal therapy. Remember that cheating is a choice, and there are always alternatives to address relationship issues. If you're unhappy in your relationship, it's better to communicate this or consider ending the relationship rather than resorting to infidelity.

References:

https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-to-do-after-an-affair/

emotional well-beinginfidelityrelationship issues