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  • Writer's pictureAngeli Zhao

7 things to look out for in your potential partner by the fourth date

Are they ‘the one’? Here is how to identify the signs of a long-term relationship in your potential partner!

Congratulations! You’ve beaten your first-date anxiety and met someone who you’re quite keen on. Flash forward a few weeks and no huge red flags have been raised on the second or third date either. Having confirmed that they’re somewhat compatible, you now have a relatively well-rounded understanding of this person and are willing to become acquainted with them. However, it’s essential to always be mindful of what happens from here.

Ensuring that your interests are aligned with your newly-founded spark is salient, and so here are some signs to look for four dates to identify what page they’re on:

1. Is your date rushing things?

Rushing things may not always be bad; however, there exist a myriad of reasons why it may be bad nonetheless. If your date is oversharing, pushing exclusivity or overstepping boundaries by the fourth date, communicate to them about how this could signal some deeper issues. If they’re raising serious red flags - reconsider.

2. Do they remember details about you?

If they can bring up details from previous dates, this signifies that they care about you as a person rather than as a side hobby. If they can recall things you’ve told them about your childhood, parents, or that embarrassing ski trip when you were 13, then chances are they’re equally as infatuated with you.

3. Does your date remain focused on what you have to say?

Maintaining eye contact and focusing on the first date is expected. However, if they preserve this practice until the fourth date - keeping their phone off, asking questions, engaging with you- this is a surefire sign they’re a willing listener and interested in something serious. Conversely, if you’re doing all the listening or feel neglected in conversation, it may be that they’re not completely invested.

4. Do they have jealous tendencies?

Fourth dates are for discussing childhood traumas at the most. For many, you and your date won’t be exclusive by this point, and so any signs of jealousy or possessive behaviours need to be treated with caution. Communicate with them about the motivation behind their jealousy- and decide from there whether you can accept the grounds of their jealousy or not.

5. You have a bad gut feeling when near them

The adage goes to ‘trust your gut feeling’ -this rings true in most cases. Your brain could be misjudging the situation due to your newfound fixation with the mysterious stranger. If your date has ever made uncomfortable comments, overstepped boundaries or been pushy with intimacy, rethink their intentions.

6. Do you find yourself being YOU in front of them?

If you find yourself blossoming more and more into your true self with every date, this is usually a great sign of comfort and openness with your date. Remember that a relationship is happiest when the partners are best friends and lovers. If you find yourself holding back on speaking your mind after a couple of dates, it may be time to rethink whether you two are compatible.

7. Initiation is from both sides

You and your date may have gotten frisky by now. Either way, if you find that both of you are initiating physical intimacy (even if it’s hand holding), offering compliments or acting flirtatious, this is a great sign of two-sided effort and attraction. If this persists, relax in knowing that they’re interested.

Most importantly, stay positive! If you’ve come this far, it means your doing something right. Overloading yourself with questions or overthinking situations is not the way to go. So relax and enjoy it!


Disclaimer: The information provided here is for general informational purposes only. Please do not use the information provided here as a replacement for therapy or professional advice. For the full disclaimer policy, please refer to


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