top of page
  • Writer's pictureAmber Ker-Foz

8 ways to identify an unhealthy relationship

Don’t settle for a relationship that fills you with despair instead of happiness.

Sometimes, love is blind. Identifying a toxic relationship can be difficult when you’re the one that’s in the relationship. You may be receiving some opinions from your friends or family, but nobody truly knows how your partner treats you – or how you treat them – behind closed doors besides yourself. Recognizing if you’re in a toxic relationship or not, no matter whose fault it is, is an essential step for both of you to figure out the next stage of your relationship.Whether it be gaslighting, the lack of support, or the breaking of boundaries, this post has got you covered.

1. They Gaslight You

Emotional and psychological manipulation 101: getting you to question your own sanity and not believe in the things you thought happened. When you bring up something they said or did that didn’t sit right with you, they deny everything, claiming they never said or did any of those things. They also tend to say that you’re overreacting and always blow things out of proportion, yet they go on to do the exact things they criticize you for doing, simultaneously being hypocritical and never putting the blame on themselves.

2. They Make You Feel Insecure and Unsafe

You feel like you can never be yourself around them because whenever you try to, they point out all your flaws and make you feel incredibly insecure. Rather than feeling safe and protected, they belittle you with demeaning comments and act hostile or threatening in order to intimidate you and instill the fear that you will disappoint or anger them by doing something wrong.

3. They Don’t Support You

When you accomplish something and feel proud of yourself, they often feel jealous and choose to put you down by not offering any support or praise. When you’re already down and upset, they make you feel even worse about it and not show any empathy instead of giving you a shoulder to lean on. They’re generally indifferent towards your achievements and don’t care when you’re hurt or defeated.

4. There is No Trust

They lie and deceive you about many things. Because of that, you feel you can’t trust them with anything they say, as well as anything you say or reveal about yourself in fear of them telling someone else. They have betrayed your trust so many times that they simply aren’t reliable anymore.

5. There Is an Imbalance of Power

If they are in charge of all your decision-making and have controlling behaviors toward you. They hold all the power in the relationship as you are co-dependent on them for almost everything. They make all the decisions for you, from what you should wear to something huge like your finances, or even who you can and can’t hang out with.

6. There are No Boundaries

There are no established boundaries between either of you, but if there are, they break them anyway. They never want you to leave their side, giving you no personal space and smothering you. This only leaves room for more arguments to take place as you grow tired of each other.

7. There is No Open Communication

There is no open communication between you two. Confrontation is not an option for them in certain types of conflict. They are not willing to talk about particular issues with you just to avoid an argument, preventing the relationship from growing, as well as stopping you guys from learning from each other.

8. You Feel Drained

You feel emotionally and physically exhausted whenever you are with them, leaving you no time to focus on or take care of yourself. You devote all your time and energy to them while they don’t really do the same in return.

If you see some of these signs in your partner or you realize you’re the one inflicting the toxicity onto them, it may be time to reevaluate what’s best for both of you moving forward. Whether it be couples’ therapy, taking a break from the relationship, or breaking up with them completely, anything is better than remaining in a stagnant relationship that doesn’t make either of you happy.


Disclaimer: The information provided here is for general informational purposes only. Please do not use the information provided here as a replacement for therapy or professional advice. For the full disclaimer policy, please refer to

bottom of page