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  • Writer's pictureFlamme - The Couples App

100 Questions To Ask Before Marriage


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Photo Credit: Katrin Bolovtsova

Before you say "I do," it's crucial to dive deep into understanding each other beyond surface-level love. These 100 essential questions cover everything from the meaning of marriage and communication preferences to financial management, family planning, and handling conflicts. They're designed to help you and your partner uncover expectations about roles, spirituality, career aspirations, and how you'll share responsibilities. This isn't just about ensuring you're on the same page; it's about forging a deeper connection and preparing for a future together that's as informed as it is committed. Consider this a vital step in building a strong foundation for your marriage, where every discussion brings you closer to a shared vision of your life together.


  1. What does marriage mean to you?

  2. How important is open communication in a marriage to you, and how do you plan to maintain it?

  3. What are your thoughts on financial management within a marriage?

  4. Do you want children? If so, how many?

  5. How do you propose we handle disagreements or conflicts in our marriage?

  6. What are your expectations regarding roles within the marriage?

  7. How important is religion or spirituality in your life, and how do you see it fitting into our marriage?

  8. What are your long-term career aspirations?

  9. How do you feel about sharing household responsibilities?

  10. What is your love language (e.g., words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch)?

  11. How important is sexual intimacy to you in a relationship?

  12. How do you deal with stress or difficult situations?

  13. What are your expectations regarding privacy and boundaries in marriage?

  14. How do you envision our life together 5, 10, and 20 years from now?

  15. How important is it for you to maintain friendships outside of our relationship?

  16. What are your hobbies or interests, and how do you expect to balance them with family life?

  17. How do you feel about debt and borrowing money?

  18. What's your stance on saving money and investing for the future?

  19. How do we handle differences in spending habits?

  20. What are your expectations about lifestyle and living standards?

  21. How do you feel about having pets?

  22. What is your approach to health and fitness?

  23. How do you feel about traveling and vacations?

  24. What are your thoughts on personal growth and self-improvement?

  25. How do you deal with anger and frustration?

  26. What is your stance on fidelity and monogamy in marriage?

  27. How do you feel about in-laws and their role in our life?

  28. How do we handle time spent with each other's families?

  29. What traditions do you want to continue or start in our family?

  30. How important is date night or quality time together to you?

  31. What's your approach to parenting and discipline styles?

  32. How do you envision balancing work and family life?

  33. What's your biggest fear about marriage?

  34. What makes you feel most loved and appreciated?

  35. How do we ensure we keep the romance alive in our marriage?

  36. What are your thoughts on education and schooling for our children?

  37. How do you feel about relocating for work or other reasons?

  38. What are your thoughts on mental health and seeking help when needed?

  39. How do you feel about sharing chores and domestic responsibilities?

  40. How do we handle differences in political or social views?

  41. What's your approach to dealing with ex-partners or past relationships?

  42. How do you feel about adoption or fertility treatments if necessary?

  43. What are your thoughts on aging and caring for elderly parents?

  44. How do you feel about public displays of affection?

  45. What's your biggest dream or aspiration in life?

  46. How do you approach making major life decisions?

  47. What are your expectations regarding work-life balance?

  48. How do you feel about technology and social media in our relationship?

  49. What's your approach to dealing with jealousy or insecurity?

  50. How important is cultural or ethnic heritage in our family?

  51. What are your guilty pleasures or little things that make you happy?

  52. How do you feel about celebrating holidays and special occasions?

  53. What's your approach to health and wellness, including diet and exercise?

  54. How do we handle changes in physical appearance or health issues?

  55. What's your stance on couple's therapy or counseling if we face challenges?

  56. How do you feel about gender roles and equality in a relationship?

  57. What's your favorite memory of us together?

  58. How do you handle criticism or feedback?

  59. What are your thoughts on personal space and alone time in a marriage?

  60. How do you envision our retirement years together?

  61. What's your approach to education and lifelong learning?

  62. How do you feel about risk-taking and adventure?

  63. What are your thoughts on environmental sustainability and living green?

  64. How do you feel about philanthropy or giving back to the community?

  65. What's your biggest regret, and what have you learned from it?

  66. How do you handle disappointments or setbacks?

  67. What are your thoughts on forgiveness and holding grudges?

  68. How do you express gratitude or appreciation?

  69. What are your non-negotiables in a relationship?

  70. How do you feel about sharing personal struggles or vulnerabilities?

  71. What's your favorite way to relax or unwind?

  72. How do you handle differences in libido or sexual preferences?

  73. What's your biggest achievement, and why does it matter to you?

  74. How do you feel about the role of humor and laughter in a relationship?

  75. What are your thoughts on trust and building it within our marriage?

  76. How do you approach setting and achieving goals as a couple?

  77. What's something you'd like to learn or experience together?

  78. How do you feel about spontaneity and surprises?

  79. What are your thoughts on materialism and consumerism?

  80. How do you handle feelings of failure or inadequacy?

  81. What's something you fear about becoming a parent?

  82. How do you envision us supporting each other's dreams and ambitions?

  83. What are your thoughts on simplicity and minimalism in our lifestyle?

  84. How do you feel about nurturing and affection in our relationship?

  85. What's a habit or behavior you're working on improving?

  86. How do you approach compromise and sacrifice in a relationship?

  87. What's something you've learned from a past relationship that you want to apply to ours?

  88. How do you feel about the importance of trust and transparency in financial matters?

  89. What's a challenge you foresee in our marriage, and how do you propose we handle it?

  90. How do you envision us maintaining our individual identities within our marriage?

  91. What's something you find challenging about cohabitation or living together?

  92. How do you approach personal development and helping each other grow?

  93. What's your stance on social and political activism within our family?

  94. How do you feel about creating a will or planning for the unforeseen?

  95. What's a tradition or custom from your family that you'd like to continue?

  96. How do you handle the expectation of changing or fixing aspects of each other?

  97. What are your thoughts on intimacy and emotional connection over time?

  98. How do you feel about aging together and the challenges it may bring?

  99. What's something you admire about our relationship that you want to strengthen?

  100. How do we ensure we keep choosing each other every day in our marriage?


Navigating through these questions is just the beginning of a beautiful adventure together. If you're eager to keep the conversation going and discover even more about each other, check out Flamme - The Couples App. It's packed with fun and thought-provoking questions that promise to keep the spark alive and help you grow even closer everyday!


Also try out our free online Couple Questions Game! 💕

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